How we choose to treat others who have hurt us says more about us then it ever does about them. This is a true window into a person’s character and emotional development. As we grow, we want to become the best versions of ourselves, but it takes time and effort to achieve emotional maturity.
When children don’t get their way or have their feelings hurt, they commonly say things like “I hate you.” However, with time, it’s important that they develop empathy for others and treat them how they would like to be treated. There is a true maturity in empathizing, even if we don’t agree. When we are hurt, it’s natural to want to either lash out, cry, or both. However, It shows true strength and character when we treat others with dignity even when we feel they don’t deserve it.
Have you ever heard the saying that “holding on to anger is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die?” When we allow anger to consume us, we lose sight of the fact that we are actually punishing ourselves and not the other person. We then stew and fill our life with bitterness, hatred, and frustration. We can’t get away from ourselves, so we carry all that negative painful baggage with us. We become so negative that we spend our time lashing out at others or being depressed and crying. Soon we start blaming our problems on someone or something else and we feel helpless to move forward.
The good news is that we can choose to find healing. Life is a journey filled with highs and lows, hurts, and joy. No matter what hurt or pain we feel, we get to choose how we treat others. One powerful example of someone who chose to forgive comes from a survivor of the Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II.
At the age of 10, the idyllic childhood Eva Mozes Kor and her twin sister Miriam had shared in Romania came to a horrific end, as they were shipped to the infamous Nazi concentration camp Auschwitz along with the rest of their Jewish family.
They never saw their family again, and because they were twins, Eva and Miriam were forced to undergo horrific medical experiments by Dr. Josef Mengele – the Nazi’s ‘Angel of Death’.
Incredibly, despite being close to death many times, both Eva and Miriam survived the war, finally being liberated from Auschwitz in January 1945.
Eva returned to live with an aunt in Romania, before moving to the USA many years later where, in 1984, she founded the organization CANDLES – Children of Auschwitz Nazi Deadly Lab Experiments Survivors. Then in 1995, while visiting Auschwitz for the 50th anniversary of its liberation, Eva caused controversy by publicly stating that she ‘forgave’ the Nazis.
Eva told the press, ‘When I forgave Mengele, and then all the Nazis, and then anyone who had ever hurt me, I felt a tremendous burden lifted from my shoulders. I realized that although I was liberated in 1945, I was not free until I forgave in 1995.”
Although most of us will never go through something as severe as Eva’s experience, sometimes we go through experiences that can leave us feeling very hurt and overwhelmed. If we don’t work through these feelings, they can leave us filled with anger and frustration and can affect how we treat ourselves and others. Like Eva, the best thing we can do is to work through our anger and learn how to forgive.
If you feel stuck in patterns of anger, I can help you heal your pain. Now is the time to work through what is keeping you stuck so you can find the peace and emotional freedom you deserve. Learn more today at innerconnectionwithnlp.com.
