As human beings, it is very common to have difficult relationships, whether they are with family, friends, neighbors, or coworkers. At the core of these difficult relationships is the concept of Trust vs. Love. In his book “How to Hug a Porcupine,” Dr. John Lewis Lund talks a lot about this concept of Trust vs Love. At first glance, it may seem like these two terms go together. However, that is not always the case. Dr. Lund explains that you can:
· Trust someone and not love them
· Love someone but not trust them
· You can love and trust someone
· You can not love nor trust them
In order to become who we are meant to be, we must learn to separate the two concepts. In the name of love, people often trust the untrustworthy. All too often we get led into believing that if we love someone, we must trust them. For example, teenagers and toxic personalities often demand that we love and trust them when they are not being trustworthy. Has anyone ever told you: “If you loved me, you would trust me?”
According to Dr. Lund, trust and love should be handled very differently. Trust comes when we do things that are trustworthy, like being where we say we will be and doing what we say we will do. When we love someone, there should be no strings attached. Trust, on the other hand, should be totally dependent on personal behavior. When we mix up the two concepts, we set ourselves up to be hurt and frustrated.
It is our responsibility to protect ourselves from those who are not trustworthy. When we confuse the two and can’t seem to separate them, we lose the ability to protect ourselves from those who are not trustworthy. This can cause heartache and stress that prevents us from becoming our best selves.
My goal as an NLP Life Coach is to help individuals work through anything holding you back so you can live a healthier and happier life. As you learn new tools and set appropriate boundaries with individuals who are not being trustworthy, you take control of your own life and well-being and start healing from the inside out.
Reach out today to begin your healing journey with InnerConnection.
