As human beings, we experience a myriad of emotions throughout our lives. While these emotions help to enrich our lives, many times they can feel overwhelming and scary. This is especially true with the powerful emotions we feel around our loved ones. We love our families and friends, but when we do not feel heard or understood we can feel overwhelmed by our feelings and act irrationally. When the relationship involves past baggage, we tend to lash out and seek to blame others. We say things we regret or we are so emotionally charged that the words get lost in the feelings.
How capable are you to feel and control your emotions when dealing with loved ones? Did you know that anger is a secondary emotion that covers up our true feelings like hurt, frustration, and fear? If you don’t work through these emotions, they can weigh down your body, mind, and spirit and cause mental and physical illness. But where do you even start?
If you have a hard time expressing your emotions without becoming defensive or angry, consider writing them down in a letter. I know letter writing is almost a lost art, however, letter writing is a very physical way of expressing yourself emotionally without letting your emotions control the situation. There is something cathartic about a pencil, paper and scribbling down words that are very satisfying. You can also choose to type the letter, but I believe the process of physically writing is more cathartic.
Letter writing is a great way to work out your emotions in a healthy and useful way. They can help you to explore what your feelings are and what you really want. Letters can be sent but this kind of letter is mostly for your own use. Here is my favorite letter writing template to use when I am angry and need to figure out what I really feel and want.
I am angry because...
I am sad because...
I am afraid because...
I regret...
I like...
I love...
The response I want is...
The format is simple, but you need to make sure you write until you feel all the emotion is done. This means your letter might be a paragraph, a page, or ten pages. Start with the first category “I am angry because”, and then repeat the process for each of the categories. This allows you to write a sendable letter that enables you to understand your emotions and express your feelings more appropriately. It also helps you to know what you want to request of someone else in a relationship with you.
Sometimes when you are working through this process, you will discover deep emotions and issues that surface. This may be a good time to reach out to someone who can guide you through the process and provide additional tools for healing.
At Inner Connection, I use NLP coaching to help you resolve emotional roadblocks so you can take charge of your life. To hear the success stories of individuals who have found healing through NLP coaching, check out their Case Studies by clicking on this link. https://www.innerconnectionwithnlp.com/casestudies
Happy letter writing.